Back to School

I started back at work this week. I had a looooong 11 weeks off. I never got around to getting a summer job. Oh well. I had a summer full of lazy days. It was nice. Especially when Nate was off too. We went on a couple trips, but for the most part, my summer was very chill. I was looking forward to starting another school year and getting back into my work schedule, but now that I've started, I want vacation again. My class this year looks as though it might be challenging. They seem really low, but at the same time I have one student who reads and writes at a 6th grade level. It's going to be tough to meet his needs while helping the handful that are really low and keeping everyone else engaged. Oh the fun of being a teacher. Another reason why I don't want to be at work is because a coworker dropped a bomb on me a few days before school started that broke my heart. This coworker, who teaches 2nd grade with me, so we work very closely, informed me that she is pregnant. I had a feeling that she was going to come back to school with this news because I knew that her and her husband started trying a couple months before school got out. But that's not what upset me so much. She's having twins. That is what rocked me. Telling me she was pregnant was like cutting me open, but telling me it's twins was like pouring salt onto my bloody wound. Ok, that's a little dramatic. But my heart is broken. I can't even seem to make one, and she gets two. Life is so unfair sometimes. The whole baby making thing has really put a strain on me and I am really down these days. This month I did the fertility drugs and it was so exhausting. I can't imagine doing this for several months. I'm about ready just to give up. Maybe it's just not meant to be. To make things even worse, yesterday one of my students put her hand on my tummy and asked if there was a baby inside. When I told her no and asked if I looked fat, she said kind of! What!?! I know I put on a few lbs this summer, but really?! I wanted to cry. Then today, a different student asked me if I had kids. When I told her no, she asked me "Aren't you married?" I said "yes" and she said "Well then you are supposed to have kids cause you are married." Is there like some kind of conspiracy against me? I swear, I just want to crawl into a hole and hibernate for the next several months. At least until the twins are born, so I don't have to hear all about it all school year long and see her expanding belly full of babies, while mine continues to go barren.