Haha! So you actually believed me when I said I was going to start blogging again. Silly you! The truth is, I've wanted to start blogging again. I've thought about blogging again. In fact, I've sat down and started a blog at least three times. I just can't seem to do it. The thing is, I wanted to blog about my sweet puppy, Harley, that we said goodbye to last summer. I felt as though I could not move on if I didn't post about her and our life together, including the end. I felt as if I wasn't honoring her memory if I just started blogging about vacations and fashion and mundane things like that. However, I can't bring myself to do it. Even though it's been over a year since her death, my heart is still very raw in that hole that she left behind. Every time I think about her, even if it's happy memories, my mind immediately flashes back to that day, the day I held her in my arms as she took her last breath and I kissed her furry forehead for the very last time. In fact, as I type this, I am crying. I hate taking myself to that place of sadness. So I force myself to turn my thoughts to other things when thoughts of her creep into my mind (and they often do). So I'll say this and then I am moving on (blog speaking): Harley was THE best dog I have ever had. She was my best friend and she brought so much happiness to my life. The day we decided to put her down was the worst day of my life and the hardest decision I've had to make to date. I was filled with overwhelming feelings of grief and guilt. Feelings that have not completely gone away. Many people think "it's just a dog." She wasn't just a dog. She was my baby. Nate and I adopted her when we first got married and she will always be our first baby. I loved her with all my heart and I miss her so much. 

"If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." -Will Rogers